Do We Say What We Think or Say Without Thinking?

In law, under contractual law there is this Latin phrase, “consensus ad idem” which basically means “meeting of the mind”. It is when 2 or more parties sit down to draw up a contract, there needs to be an understanding that there is an agreed intention between parties. Hence, in the event of the dispute or uncertainty in the contract one goes back to the intention of the parties.

This got me thinking, the phrase must have been coined only because sometimes things get lost in “translation” in a manner of speaking. Many of us, tend to not say what we think and if you examine these times, it is when we would have to say something that is not pleasing to another. Other times, we are just saying a whole load of things without thinking and then there are times we are wondering what the other is thinking.

Aren’t we all so intricate.

I for one struggle with my words and many a time have hurt others with the same but then isn’t that why the word “Sorry” was created. Get angry say sorry, get angry again about the same issue say sorry again. Sorry overtime becomes an excuse and I am thinking I really don’t think it was meant to be that way.

So, I am thinking right now, just maybe we could TRY and –

• Be more aware of what we are thinking about- this is our internal voice;
• Take some time to think about what we want to say to another rather than reacting to the emotions within and/or the external situation;
• And find some courage to be more open and honest with our communication with others. Even anger can be spoken with gentleness. As Rumi said ” Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder“

One now may therefore ask, what has this got to do with the phrase “consensus ad idem” – the fact remains, our external can sometimes be misinterpreted and/or misunderstood by others. I feel this is only because we actually do not react to words, we are reacting to the vibration and tone that comes with the words – let’s take for example my favourite phrase “dumb ass” – when said in jest one can laugh, when said to humiliate one gets angry but the phrase has not changed, the manner we used the same has changed. So, try and think before we speak and just maybe there will be that meeting of the mind wherein what we are trying to convey reaches the other person.